Cows seem to like me

We went shopping for awhile today and had a really good time. All in all, it was a good day. We stopped by some tack stores and western wear. I finally found the boots that I've been looking for. My old pair, had them for 3 years, went to boot Heaven last week. Almost the entire sole came off of them. Thankfully I wasn't running at the time...LOL

It was a nice evening when we got back home and we decided to go for a ride. We have been working w/ Dusty on saddling. He has been quite antsy when saddling so I was trying to get him out of it. I don't know what happened between the last time we saddled him and today but something did. He stood completely still for the whole thing. I was quite impressed.

Perhaps that built my confidence up too much.

We went riding in a small pasture that I have. It's about 20 acres or so? Something like that. I suppose in retrospect it went ok...but I dunno. It is such a difficult thing for me not to be confident in whatever it is that I'm doing. I've always done well in school, I can work my cows, I know what's going on w/ them, I love and can handle my dogs, I have pulled through some of the toughest things that a person can imagine but this horseback riding is definately my Achilles heel.

We went around the pasture and things went pretty good. We got back near the gate and Dusty wanted to go back to the barn. He started to throw his little fit and I got him to stop. That was successful. We went back around and rode a bit more. Later, we were going the opposite way in the pasture and P had ended up behind me and I was in front. Dusty decided that he didn't want to go down the hill, so I circled him to the right and then tried to get him to go down the hill.

Again, he didn't wanna go, so I circled him again. Then he threw his lil fit. I got scared and called to P. He came over but stayed behind us while we rode.

Maybe I should have just stayed in the barn w/ him for several more times. Maybe I'm just not good at riding. Maybe I panic too fast. Maybe I just don't know what the hell I'm doing. I have no idea. Maybe I should just stick w/ cows...they seem to like me.

I almost didn't write this post because I didn't want to sound like a whine bag. But, this is a blog about me learning how to ride and this unsuccessful stuff is a part of it...even though I don't like it.

Ride Beside Me

I've always wanted to be w/ someone, a man, that wanted to go riding w/ me. Someone that would either teach me more about riding or would want to be right along beside me learning about riding. My first husband, D, knew how to ride, was a good rider but wasn't interested in it any longer. Well, I didn't realize the uninterested part until much later. My second husband, S, wasn't a horse person at all. Deep down I knew that if he were to get a horse, the poor thing wouldn't learn a thing and he'd probably ruin it. So we never owned horses.

(that's all the marriages, btw...LOL)

Then I met, P. We've been together a bit over a year and I've finally found someone that loves the cattle as much as I do and is as interested, if not a little more, in horses. That was thrilling and scary. Now I had to really do what I've been dreaming of doing. Sometimes dreaming of doing something is much easier than actually getting out there and doing it.

I have referenced weight loss in previous entries but I had gotten to large. I've never been a thin person and I don't know if I ever will be. I've always had issues getting On a horse. My grandpa always blamed it on my weight. So, I always thought it was my fault. Something wrong w/ me. I didn't question it. He was always telling me that I needed a big horse because I was so fat. He always compared me to my Mom. She was very petite and thin. Me? LOL Not so much. I'm at least 2-3 inches taller than she was and was always carrying around a bit of extra weight.

So, now I have someone that wanted to ride. Ok. I knew I needed to loose some weight and made a vow that I would do that. I would loose weight and become a better rider. May, 2010.

I don't know that I am a better rider now, but I'm not worse. That has to count for something! I have lost 43 lbs and still loosing slowly. I still get scared but I think I have a few more tools to work with. I have taken some lessons. I've met new ppl.

And I have someone to ride beside me.

Confidence building

Yesterday was pretty windy here. I knew I wanted to go riding that day but it was a little bit chilly. But I sure that I wouldn't get to ride today, so I decided to try it.

We saddled up Dusty, I played w/ him a bit while saddling. Moving the blankets around, flopping the saddle and things like that. He gets a little antsy when saddling and I'm not sure why. I've only had him a bit over a week. Once the saddle is on, then he calms down. The first time we saddled him, he didn't like the hackamore, (hackmore?) to go around his mouth. We got it on w/o too much fuss and this time was much better. We knew already that he didn't like his mouth worked with.

We got him loaded in the trailer and went about a mile to the barn and unloaded him. We've been working on backing him out of the trailer instead of going straight out forwards. He gets very nervous about it but he done so good. No big problems, no running out backwards, just tiny baby steps back and he was out.

I stepped on him and he done really well. He doesn't care too much for turning right, so we worked on that some. He wanted to follow my bf out of the barn and had a little fit about not getting to go. I hope I worked some of that out of him by just continuing to ride him and not letting him get his way. We were both tired by the time we left the barn but I think it was a good experience for both of us.

The barn will prolly see us again tomorrow if things work out as planned.

Dread

I think I'd rather take a beating that to go to the license bureau. I remember going w/ Granny to get the licenses and the tags when I was a kid. Back then there were 2 women that ran the local license bureau. Neither of them were very happy ppl. Grumpy, mean and impatient. I hated going there. Now, the local license bureau is much different. They are very helpful, kind and educated in several of the different processes. *sigh* but I still don't like to go. I dread it so much that I'm usually late to get the stuff. I just drive something else. Now that is avoidance...lol

But mission was successful. We got the tags we needed and that part of the day is done. Wanting to go riding but it is a bit chilly here. Not sure if I'm going to get the courage up to go out in that wind or not. Wouldn't be too awful bad if the wind would die down some.

Meandering

The plan for the day didn't have anything to do w/ waking up at 5 am. That's for sure. But awake I was.

Hoping to get some things accomplished at the license bureau in time enough to get a bit of ride time in. I need to ride Dusty a bit more and get used to him. We are going to either spend some time in the pen by the square bale barn or I'm going to take him over to a larger barn and work him inside. Not exactly an arena but I think it'll work. Nothing in there that he should be able to get hurt on....or me. lol

We should start calving soon. I've been keeping an eye on the girls and the are starting to show signs of babies soon. I'm thinking maybe another week. When they do start birthing I'm sure I'll be puttin up some pictures...As long as I can figure out how to add a pic in a post. Takes a bit of time to figure out a new blogging site.

A New Journey

It has been awhile since I've visited this blog of mine. I forgot about it for awhile and then went to create another blog. I used the same email for this one and TaDa, I'm back where I started. Pretty good deal.

So....there is a new journey I am on. Horses. I suppose it's unfair to say that it's a *new* journey but one I plan to stay on for quite some time. mmm, Some background would probably be helpful.

I had quite a few horses as I was growing up. I was raised by my grandparents and oft times they didn't feel well. So that meant I was left to my own devices for entertainment. Grandpa would purchase a horse or pony for me and then granny would convince me that I couldn't ride it and would only get hurt.

Yeah, enter in the fear of riding horses. So, now I'm 37 and trying to get over this fear. I don't fear them on the ground. I like handling them, feeding and caring for them but when on their back, I am scared almost speechless. I am convinced that it is my stressing that is sending the wrong signals to the horses and I need some more guidance.

Last fall my bf and I started taking horseback riding lessons. I felt really comfortable there and i learned quite a lot. I am, however, still scared when on the back of my own horse, Dusty. I will add a pic of him soon. I purchased Sunny, whom you can see here on the side of the blog, last year. She is a bit tall for me to get on and off comfortably so I decided to go w/ a smaller horse. Dusty is right at 14 hands. Each hand is about 4 inches.

So, at my bf's suggestion, this will be a chronicle of my learning experience of becoming comfortable horseback. I'm determined to get over my fear and I shall. It will just take some time...and might be an interesting ride.