Venting

I'm looking forward to 2013.  I have had some terrible times in 2012, some good also, but I'm ready to move forward.  I'm not sure how to do that.  How does one move forward and away from the bad things that has happened?  How does that work?  How does one keep from second guessing every decision that they make and walk forward with confidence?

I haven't figured that out.

I haven't figured out how to tell the difference between making an educated decision based on past experiences and making a decision that is tainted w/ past experiences...Is there a difference?

I am someone that likes to be in control of what goes on around me and when I am not, I am completely out of my comfort zone and not happy at all.  There are several circumstances that I'm not in control of currently and it's driving me crazy.  I have a new bf and he is looking for a job and looking quite hard for one.  He has had trouble finding a job and it's beginning to frustrate me.  It seems that I'm always the one that picks up the pieces and makes everything ok for everyone.  I don't see myself as a doormat, but I'm sure tired of fixing everything.  His relationship w/ his kid is next to nil.  The kid is giving all attitude and doesn't seem to be getting any sort of consequences for that.  That would not have flown when I was a kid.  His dogs also had pups that we had to bottle feed.  Now it's time to find them homes and it has been like pulling teeth out of a ducks mouth to get him to be motivated to do that.  We have found a home for one pup thus far and we have about 5 more to go.  I'm about to pull my hair out over it.

*sighs*  Yeah, this is my whining/venting/ post.  I have to get it out somewhere and when I bring up the issues to him all we do is fight.  I'm tired of fighting.  I'm tired of feeling like I'm being taken advantage of.  I don't know if he is truely trying the best that he can or not.  How do I tell?  I've been lied to, cheated on, and taken advantage of so much in my past that I don't have any confidence in my own judgement.  blah